In my last post, I looked at who Man was made to be in Genesis. To be honest, that was the first half of a larger idea that I had, yet there was no way that I could put everything I wanted to say under one heading. I wanted to show what Man was made to be from the Beginning, who he has become now, and the culture he finds himself in today. I tried to cover the first two already, and now I am moving on to the third. And, I must preface: it may read like a diatribe. The masculine culture in which I have been raised sickens me. The men in this world (and in Christ's church) seem to be, as I believe Mark Driscoll described them, nothing but boys who can shave. Our idea of what makes a man needs to change.
Now, it may be strange that I write this, because I look an awful lot like a "manly" man. On the surface, I am a 5'9", 230 pound man, whose voice dropped at age 13 and who could grow facial hair at 15. Despite not being the tallest and slimmest, I still have a good bit of athletic talent. I can (or at least could in the past) throw a baseball over 70 mph and hit a baseball thrown over 70 mph, snipe a puck topshelf, block a defensive lineman bigger than me, and squat 405 pounds. I have an affinity for sports, loud music, good food, and (let's be honest) I don't exactly mind the presence of women.
Yet, as the layers are peeled way, one will find some peculiar things that "manly men" don't often do. I enjoy to read and write, and I write in really pretty cursive. I am a deep-thinking person, whose mind is always churning about something. I am a deep-feeling person; joy, excitement, pain, confusion, disappointment, and the like are things that I feel rather intensely, and my facial expression usually betrays exactly how I am feeling. I have the occasional cathartic cry. I take things incredibly personally, making affection and words of encouragement special, while even the allusion of criticism or harshness sting me deeply. Go further still, and you will see a shameful boy who hates being the fat kid, who resents being a "nice guy" who always seems to finish last, who lacks so-called self-confidence and self-esteem, and who even doubts God's goodness. The world applauds to man on the outside, but would probably advise the poor excuse of a man on the inside to seek therapy.
That world's masculinity is a hollow shell of what God created it to be. It seems that today’s manly men are defined by pride, sexual prowess, bodily strength, alcohol tolerance, affinity for sports, and the like. There is no room for emotion, affection, weakness, or powerlessness. A man gets what he wants, when he wants, how he wants it, and will pummel any impediment in the way without blinking his eye. We see this in the news--men steal, kill, rape, cheat, and only show remorse when they are caught. Now, we dare not celebrate any of this, but these actions evince the broken masculinity passed down to us. However, we do celebrate this false masculinity on a daily basis. For example, professional athletes are celebrated and paid outrageous amounts of money because they can run fast, jump high, and throw hard, and spend a lot of time training their bodies to play a simple game. Many of the characters in the movies guys enjoy are celebrated as they stop at nothing to pursue justice and vengeance. Shooter, an underrated Mark Wahlberg flick that happens to be one of my favorites, ends with (spoiler alert) the main character triumphantly walking away from an exploding cabin which held the already-dead bodies of those who framed him. These are the images that are painted in every impressionable boy's eyes, and culture is starting to reap what it has sown---I believe I am in a generation of men that, generally, has no idea about how to be a man.
Firstly, what even makes a human being a man? Quite simply, it is the presence of a Y-chromosome. If a human being's 23rd chromosomal pair is XY, it is a male; XX, a female. This is the prerequisite for one to be a man, and it has been bestowed upon him by his Creator who knit him in his mother's womb (Ps. 139:13). There is no amount of facial hair, physical strength, taste for red meat, affinity for sports, or even a particularly strong sexual attraction to women that qualifies one for manhood. There is no societal or individual construct here on the earth that bestows manhood. God alone created man from the top of his head to the sole of his foot, flesh and soul, and called him "very good," (Gen 1:31).
But, our culture has, without being checked, decided to put corollaries onto what makes someone a man, unfairly forcing him to accentuate particular "manly" features while quenching integral parts of being a human made in God's image. We have been told since we were small boys that we ought to be big and strong; we ought to be warriors; boys don't cry; boys chase after girls. "Don't be a such a wuss!" "You're such a queer!" These are the things we heard on TV, in movies, in our schools, in our neighborhoods, and in our homes (as some of us weren't fortunate to grow up with a godly father who loves him and loves the Lord). Yet, when we fail to live up to these standards--even as young boys--it seems like we either steeled our nerves and vowed to at least feign to live up to this ideal, or gave up trying and decided to live without self-worth or hope of ever being a "real man." Quite frankly, I personally would describe myself before the age of 19 as the latter.
But, thankfully, I have been freed by Christ from putting on masculine charades and I am now defined by Him an what He does done for me. I am now a Son of God (Eph. 1:5), wrapped in the Raiment of Salvation (Is. 61:10), who has a great High Priest who sympathizes with my many, many weaknesses (Heb. 4:15). I can confess my sin and ask God to heal my brokenness, and He is faithful and His power is made perfect in my weakness (2 Cor. 12:9). Now, I don't have Michael Jordan, John Wayne, and the like as my idols--I have Jesus Christ, the perfect Man, whose likeness I am now conforming to, and whose Word guides me to true masculinity.
Are we men supposed to be cold, emotionless beings?--No! We are told there is a time to weep, a time to mourn, a time to embrace, and a time to love, and these times are beautiful (Ecc 3:1-11). Jesus Himself wept in front of the tomb of Lazarus, and the statement that He wept was important enough to be a verse all by itself (John 11:35). There is an entire book of Scripture of love poetry in the Song of Solomon, where a man describes the beauty of the woman he loves. We are made in the image of a personal God who, for a lack of a better word, feels. It would be folly for us to kill that part of ourselves because that is what culture tells us to.
Above all, men are called to love, and have everything we do be done in love (1 Cor. 16:14). It's hard to do this when we are filled with pride and fend only for ourselves. The Greek word here, ἀγάπη (agape), refers to benevolence and brotherly love. This is the love makes a man lay his life down for his friends, that made Christ lay His life down for me, a sinner (John 15:13; Rom. 5:8). This is a man loving his wife like Christ loves the Church, by laying his life down for her, by speaking tenderly to her (Eph. 5:25; Hos. 2:14). This is a father raising his children in the Lord . This is the love that a man is commanded to have for his enemy (Matt. 5:43-48). It is without this love that men are unfaithful and divorce their wives. Without this love, men take vengeance on those who wronged them (and let us not forget that the Lord says vengeance is His; Rom. 12:18-20). This is the love displayed at Calvary.
I am enjoying reading your stuff. Keep it up.
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